The Lessons

A few months ago I did a 30-day stint of “truth and blogging”.  One of those days had to do with an artist who got me through some hard times.  Because of him and his work, I had a major spiritual awakening for lack of a better term.  For nearly three years, I followed him around the world, I wrote, I dreamed, I “communed”.  I discovered the “little voice”.  Some days I woke up and the voice said, “Today you will write a poem called ‘Taken’” and that afternoon when I was cooking dinner, this urge came over me to write, and I ran for my journal and a poem called ‘Taken’ flowed out of my pen.

Seriously.

I went for long walks and I began to get what I can only describe as “titles” in my head.  Later, I came back to the computer, sat in front of a blank screen and typed the title on the document.  Suddenly, I found myself typing these words that I absolutely was NOT thinking and at the end of the time, there was this amazing THING on the page.  I began to call them “lessons”.

There were a lot of them; 118 to be exact.

I’m not sure why I stopped “getting” them. Perhaps I still do, but I don’t hear them as well, or perhaps the time isn’t right at the moment. I’ve thought about putting them here and I’ve been reluctant.  Then I decided, what the heck, probably no one will come to this page anyway, so what have I got to lose.  Therefore, with no further fanfare, I present the lessons, beginning with Lesson One.  Each one is dated the day it was written.  Read or not, scoff or believe, they came to me from a magic place and I hope one day to go there again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 12
March 29, 1999 – Find Spirit in Small Things

It is easy to see Spirit working in large and majestic things.  A high reaching mountain, a huge deeply rooted tree, the ocean under the moon, are all sights to make one think of Creator at the zenith of power.  Even such man made things as a symphony, a ballet, a skyscraper, can bring hints of the Divine inspriation into our hearts simply through observation.

It is more difficult to see Spirit moving through the small and ordinary things and tasks in our lives.  But in order for Spirit to fill our lives, we must realize that Spirit imbues all things, great and small, magnificent and insignificant.  Nothing exists without the infusion of the same Spirit that created the Universe.  Every single thing you can imagine is a piece of Spirit.

In our busy lives it is not easy to stop and let this awareness of Spirit wash over us.  Are you the boss?  The next time you put on a freshly starched shirt, or tie a silk tie, think of the silkworms that spun the raw threads, think of the men and women living somewhere unknown to you who wove those threads into a lovely fabric, and the ones who stitched the cloth into the tie you wear with aplomb.  Without the efforts of many small things, there would be no tie, no car, no food on our table, for remember, alas we no longer support ourselves though the working in the Earth.

When you cook your dinner, clean your kitchen, wash your clothes, think of these things as a way of worship.  Think of them as acts of kindness and devotion you perform not only for the members of your family, but also for yourself.  To clean your own house is to stop for a moment and know the position of prayer, with back and knees bent.  To cook a delicious meal for family or friends is to share nourishment and feed people you love.  If you perform these tasks with an open heart, you will begin to realize they are no longer drudgery but joy.   This is not to say you will quit your job and become a home maker, but that you will realize the value of these tasks, once considered “lowly”.  Our work in life will take us many places.  It is essential that we remember Spirit in all that we do.  In doing so we can be connected to the higher power and to our higher selves by the simple act of sweeping a floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 11
March 28, 1999 – Practice Non-Apology

What have you to apologize for?  Being alive?  Being born?  Attempting to live your life in peace?  Having children?  Not having them?  Being a daughter instead of a son or a son instead of a daughter? Loving the people in your life?  Why would you, or why would you feel the need to apologize for any of the previous?  Are not all of us doing exactly the same things in our own ways?  Are we all in a state of sorrow over the mere fact of our existence?

The only reason you would ever need to apologize to anyone is for deliberately or unknowingly hurting another by your own direct actions.  In the case of deliberately hurting someone, an apology would not be true because you accomplished what you intended, and so your apology would not be believed.  In that case, best to keep silence, unless your heart has truly turned.  If you, through ignorance or lack of perception, cause hurt to another, then you should apologize sincerely, openly, to that person, learn why you have hurt them, and work diligently not to do so again.  Lesson learned.

To apologize for things beyond your control is to assume too much importance.  Are you sorry your coworker is late because of the traffic jam?  Did you cause the traffic jam?  Are you sorry your spouse is not happy in his or her job?  Do you keep them in the job, not allowing them to search for other, more fulfilling employment?  Are you sorry you have worked hard and succeeded?  Did you not put your best and honest effort into your work?  When you feel that instant, insistent urge to say “I’m sorry” at anyone’s mild remark of displeasure or discontent, you bring the responsibility for their displeasure or discontent onto yourself, where it need not be.

The next time you begin to blurt out your habitual “I’m sorry’s”, try instead to breathe into silence.  If you wish, empathize with the person speaking, by saying, “That’s too bad.” or “I know how you feel”, or even nod quietly in agreement.  You do not need to take the burden of their unhappiness onto your shoulders.  Nor, in most cases, would they wish you to.  Be conscious of this habit for several weeks, and replace the apologies with true listening and caring.  See how your burdens lighten, and how you begin to feel freeer and more open to the joy of the world when you are not carrying everyone else’s sorrows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 10
March 27, 1999 – Be Selfish

This is not in contradiction to anything else that has been written.  Given the saturation of Christian doctrine and teachings in this world today, most people are probably at least familiar with the saying, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”  That would be an excellent philosophy and way of behavior if we did, indeed, truly love ourselves.  But we do not love ourselves.  It seems from birth we are told how inadequate, silly, ungrateful, ungraceful and unlovable we are.  How can we believe otherwise when these messages come from such all knowing figures as parents and teachers?  How do we learn to love the Self that lies within, the Self belonging to each of us that is uttlerly unique and wonderful?

We must learn to be selfish.  Not the selfish behavior of thinking only of oneself, one’s possessions, one’s problems.  We must be selfish by learning how to listen to our deep inner self, the Voice within that can give us the love, caring and advice we need to go forward towards our goals and dreams.  We must learn to be selfish enough to stay home and get well if we are ill.  We must learn to be selfish enough to understand why we want a loving relationship with another, and what we want out of it, and we must be selfish enough to say a resounding “No!” to those who would force us into other types of relationships for their benefit and not ours.

To love yourself is not a bad or undesirable thing.  In fact, it is absolutely necessary if you ever wish to love another, whether it be spouse, friend or child.  Love flows outward from within, and if the love we feel cannot begin with our inner self, whom no one else will ever know as well as we do, then how can we ever hope to love another, or be available to have another love us?

Learn to be selfish.  Learn to love yourself.  In this entire Universe, of countless stars and beings, there is only one You.  Aren’t you worth your love?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 9
March 26, 1999 – Ask Not

We ask for things we don’t really want, and are afraid to ask for what we need.  Our society has evolved to the point that we are led from one product to another, one show to another, one fad to another by those who have vested financial interests in where our resources go—into their pockets.  We live our lives in front of electronic boxes that blare incessant messages telling us we want these things, NEED them in order to have whiter teeth, a cleaner bathroom, happier children, a better life.

When we learn not to ask, but to listen, then the gifts will come.  Turn off the television and listen to the people in your lives.  Do not ask what they want, they will tell you, if you pay them the slightest bit of attention.  There is no need for digging and delving and scraping.  If you show yourself to be open, not by following then around asking questions, “Are you all right?”, “Is everything OK?”, but by simply being quiet and available, then they will come to sit with you in your silence. All things you need in life will come to you.  

Silence is such a powerful force that most people will do nearly anything to avoid it.  But keep your silence, do not ask continually for things, money, blessings, even in your thoughts.  Be quiet in your heart, the center of yourself, and open your soul like a lotus. What you need is there waiting.  In your silence, it will have the opportunity to come to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 8

March 25, 1999 – Be at Peace

We live in a tumultuous world.  All around us is chaos, even when we seem to live in a “civilized” society.  For some, life is quite literally a battlefield, for others, the battle is more metaphorical, dealing with work, home and family.  But whether we dodge bullets, fight famine, or juggle carpools, our lives are seldom at peace on the outside.

Peace is not something that can be imposed.  It must come from within, and it has nothing to do with outside circumstances.  If we want peace in this world, manifested in nations, first we must manifest peace in our own individual lives.

How, you ask, can I be at peace when my world is falling apart?  When pollution threatens drinking water, when children cannot read and don’t have enough to eat?  When bombs fall from the sky, how can peace come into our hearts?

First we must be quiet.  In the silence, however brief, peace will show itself.  Peace is a strong force, and will grow quickly once it is allowed to take root.  Peace is already in you, but you have blocked it off, by thinking that it must come from an outside source.  Many people think peace comes from god or a supreme being or diety.  But we are all part of Spirit, and from Spirit, and therefore, the peace of Spirit lives within us,  hidden in the cluttered closet where our secret hearts reside.

Open the closet, let in the Light, and Peace will grow.  Make some time for silence in your life every day, even if it is only five minutes.  Five minutes of peace from each person in the world would add up to eternity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 7
March 24, 1999 – Live Naked

Now, of course, this does not mean to run through the streets with no clothes on!  To live naked is to be aware, to drop all masks and pretenses, to be a person, rather than a personality.  The armor of the personality is heavy, and requires much energy to carry.  Sometimes we feel we can only be who we really are when we are asleep, or apart from anyone that we know or love.  We think that others want us to be a certain way, we think we will not be loved, accepted, approved of if we reveal the secrets of our real selves.  Sometimes, we are so hidden even we cannot recognize our real selves, and live our entire lives feeling lost, and not knowing quite why.

How much more could we accomplish in our lives if we did not spend all our strength holding our armor together?  What if we simply cherished life as it comes to us?  What if we took a compliment with gratitude and quiet grace?  What if we did work that really sustained and fulfilled us?  What if we love each other for who we are and not who we think we should be?

Living naked takes time, because we are not used to it.  The masks go on early, and are sometimes difficult to take off because we often do not know what lies behind them.  But we must make the effort.  We must put aside the paint, the feathers, the dark cloths and show our real and shining faces to each other.  Then the truth and beauty of our souls will burn through, and we will speak honestly to each other for the very first time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 6

March 23, 1999 – Release Expectations

What do we expect out of life?  We expect love, happiness, security, children, a spouse a job, material things, etc.  Possibly we plan for these things, we postpone present happines for future maybes, because we are always working towards our expectations.  We also expect that once we reach these goals, achieve these things, marry that spouse, have those children, THEN we will be happy…we will have reached the expected, planned for, happiness.

All of that written above is a big lie.  Life owes us nothing.  Our parents owe us nothing. Jobs, employers, schools owe us nothing. From the time we are conscious, it is our job to give our all to life.  To expect anything is to be cheated, because when you expect one thing and then are gifted with another, there is not happiness, only begrudging, because you do not recognize the beautiful thing that has been given to you.  You may say, “What I got was nice, but it wasn’t what I expected.”  So?  If you expect nothing, and get anything, then you can say with a full heart, “Oh my goodness, this is so wonderful…I NEVER expected THAT!”

To release expectation does not mean to plop down on the ground and give up.  Quite the opposite.  Because you are no longer focused on having ONE particular thing, walking down ONE particular path, everything and all paths are now available.  Try an experiment.  For one week, drop all expectations.  Do not expect your boss to be “down” on you.  Do not expect your coworkers to be gossipy or petty.  Do not expect your teenager to do the worst.  Do not expect a raise.  Consciously release these and other expectations in your life and watch what happens.  You will begin to focus on just what you are doing at the moment, whether it is answering the phone at work, cooking dinner, or reading a book in the evening.  Because no outside “expectations” intrude, you can begin to enjoy your moments here on Earth.  You can accept, rather than expect.  Accept yourself, your family, your world.  Going through life with acceptance as your traveling partner will reward you with so many gifts, you will have little time left over to waste in expecting anything more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 5

March 22, 1999 – Life is Prayer

We think of prayer as something done in private, behind closed doors, or shut inside our own minds one hour a week on Sunday, Wednesday or Friday (pick your holy day).  We do not realize or acknowledge that this entire world is a prayer of Creation.  The sky prays to the Earth when it drops the rain upon the thirsty ground.  The trees pray to the Sky when they reach ever upward.  The Earth shouts its prayer to the Universe when flowers bloom and the crops are harvested.  A prayer wafted upwards on the aroma of woodsmoke from my neighbor’s chimney this evening as the sun set, molten bronze in the Western sky.

We cannot compartmentalize the Divine, thus we cannot put prayer into one single, tiny space of our lives.  Our lives ARE prayer, whether we realize it or not.  We cannot help it.  Simply being alive is praying.  You are alive because creation wishes you to be.  The Divine wants you here because you have a note to contribute to the celestial symphony. Without you, without me, it is incomplete, and Creation knows this.

The length is not important, only the depth and resonance of your life, your prayer.  Do not begrudge time spent learning, training, or doing mundane things.  These are the scales you practice for your great performance.  Small prayers add up to majestic works.  Not works as in “good works” or “good deeds”, but Work as an opus, a history of your Selves upon this creation known as Earth.  Do every deed of your life as if you were praying.  Not praying FOR something, or praying to be protected FROM something, but a prayer of BEING, a song only you can sing.  When you hear the music in your everyday life, then you will know your prayer has joined all the others in the Heavens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 4
March 21, 1999 – We Are All Poets

We think of poetry as a verbal or written art form, in terms of metre, rhyme, stanzas, words put to the paper.  But poetry is simply the act and art of stripping away that which is non-essential.  By removing unnecessary words, prose is both reduced to and becomes poetry.  But poetry is not limited to words.  Life is poetic when it reaches for the essential.  We all have poetry within us.  But, too often, that poetry is unrecognized or stifled because we believe there are too many other things to do first, before we can allow ourselves to tap into the vast resources within.

When your life becomes too cluttered, you must stop.  Think of what you would do during your days if there was nothing you HAD to do.  Would you work in your garden?  Then your garden is your poetry.  Would you play with your child?  Then your child is your poetry.  Would you make love to your spouse?  Then making love is your poetry.  When you begin to think in terms of everyday things and tasks as being poetic, a shift will occur deep within you.

You will begin to want to be poetic.  You will want to keep distracting and unnecessary details out of your life, so that it can fill with poetry.  Every one of us must find our own rhythm, metre, stanzas, form.  For some, plumbing will be poetry.  For others, a well organized file drawer, for yet others, a beautiful quilt or a well taught lecture.  Not one of these things is “better” than the other.  If these things are done with focus, concentration and love, they will be poetry, and they will fill your heart with pleasure, and open it wider to create more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 3- Be in Shadow

March 21, 1999

We were conceived in darkness.  This is not the concept of “original sin”, that darkness equals “bad” or “evil”.  No.  Quite literally, we are conceived in darkness, in the tender and secret places of the body known only to ourselves and our intimate partners.  And, with the exception of some adventurous souls, most of us were probably conceived at night, in the bed, under the covers, with the lights out.  Dark.

Darkness is not strange to us, although we try very hard to make it so.  We floated for nine months in our mothers’ wombs, in the shadowy world of muffled sounds and dim light, growing and learning and hearing the messages we immediately forgot once the bright screaming hospital lights hit us and the air scorching our lungs for the first time took away the memory of breathing dark water.

And so, we spend the rest of our lives avoiding the shadows, keeping out of the dark.  But if we do not acknowledge the dark that is always a part of us, then we will never completely come to the light and bask in the pure love that waits there.  We all have our shadow sides.  We must learn them and come to terms with them as surely as we love and praise our “good”, “bright” sides.  Balance, my friends, always balance.  If there was no Dark to come out of, how would we know we are in the Light?

We say, “I don’t want to be depressed.”  I only want to be happy.  Happy, happy, happy, all day long.  And so we drink, we smoke, we eat, we take Prozac and Wellbutrin and Xanax, and all kinds of bright little pills with lovely calming names to keep us away from our Shadows and “make” us happy.  They do not make us happy.  They make us dull and glassy eyed, but the Shadows within are still there.

Go into your shadows and be.  Is your marriage depressing you?  Dig in and find out why.  Perhaps you can repair it, perhaps you cannot.  But if you know, then you will cease to fool yourself with “medications” that only dim the symptoms, but do not cure the problem.

Is your job/boss/work enviornment making you sick?  Why?  Fall into those shadows and know the difference between a toxic workplace and a drugged soul.  With care and shielding, you can venture into an unhealthy environment for a while, and still remain strong, as long as your ultimate goal is to take care of yourself and be Whole.  Do not lose yourself to a job, for the blind loyalty you put in will not be returned.

For every “dark” situation in your life, you must be a private investigator, putting together the entire picture out of each small and painful piece.  Once the puzzle has been assembled, you can then step back into the Light, and see that your fearful shadow life is not so terrible, in fact it is rather silly and tired.  Once you realize this, it becomes much easier to make amends, to repair a situation or, if that is not possible, to say goodbye with love and caring and move beyond it, to come truly and entirely into the Light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 2
March 18-19, 1999 – Swim in Joy

I’m 42 years old and I’ve been swimming for 40.  I don’t remember not knowing how to swim.  For me, getting into the water, letting it cover me and bouy me, is a special act of communication with the Elemental.  The feel of the water surrounding me is amazing.  I have learned in my years of swimming, that you cannot fight water.  You must go with it, let it carry you, give yourself to it.

Joy is like that.  It will come in the oddest moments. When tears roll down your face from sadness, somewhere deep inside a thrill of joy will lift its head.  Don’t fight it.  Let it come.  Swim in it.  Let it surround and envelop you, and drift within its eddies and tides.  Like the tide, joy ebbs and flows, but it is always there moving in you.  Your job is to recognize the joy you naturally are gifted with and learn to steep yourself in it, until joy fills your life.

When the phrase “swim in joy” came to me, first I thought of swimming joyfully, that is, being glad to be swimming.  That, of course, is easy, because I love to swim.  But then, I began to hear the phrase in a different way, to be swimming in a sea of joy, which of course can be done on land as well as water.

Our world is a sea of joy, and most of us are huddling on a lifeboat, afraid to put out a toe and get wet.  Jump in!!  Swim, splash, play.  The joy is there; simply because you refuse to participate does not make it go away.  Wonder waits for you, and your soul is crying out for it.  Listen to the thirst of your soul, and be joyful.  Swim!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 1
March 17, 1999 – Think About Communion

I was getting ready to go on my afternoon walk when I got home from work today, and I distinctly heard the sentence, “Think about COMMUNION!”  I don’t usually think about much of anything when I walk; one of the reasons I do it is to clear my mind from work and sort of “wind down” from a day in the windowless basement where I work.  But today I had instructions, and so, I thought about COMMUNION while I walked.

Of course, the first thing that came to my mind, as would come to the mind of most people raised in the Judeo-Christian background, was the church version of communion, the sharing of bread and wine which becomes the body and blood of Christ.  I thought, how did I feel about that?  Do I believe it?  Do I accept the doctrine of transubstantiation, that only a priest or “holy man” can perform that miracle?  That substances “change,” I do accept.  Not that wine and bread literally become blood and flesh, but that symbolically we “commune” with the Divine by consuming part of it.  We take it into ourselves in order to understand it.  Otherwise how COULD one understand the Divine?  It’s not possible to understand OR comprehend it rationally; only by experiencing it, by “becoming” it.  Sometimes we get glimpses, flashes, sometimes we feel invisible hands on our shoulders when we despair, sometimes we are given inspiration or encouragement from places we would never have dreamed possible.

My next thought was to drag out the dictionary once I got home.  Under the word “communion” (lower case) are a number of definitions:  1) the act of sharing, 2) the condition of things held in common with others; community; union, 3) a close spiritual relationship, and 4) a group of people having the same religious beliefs.  A shared, united group of people who have a close spiritual relationship, possibly stemming from the same (religious) beliefs.  It sounds wonderful!  How do we do it?  While I was walking, wondering what, in fact, the dictionary did say about communion, I was also playing with the word in my head:

Communion
Common
Union
Om
un
ion

Lots of silly little syllables that add up to a much greater word and meaning.  And, alone, aren’t we all silly little individuals, running around in our tiny little circles, worrying about this and that, UNTIL we get smacked on the side of the head with something HUGE, and realize that we’re all in this together?  Communion, sharing, spirit.  Open your heart, I thought then.  Open your heart like a door to summer and take EVERYTHING into yourself.  Even if it seems unpleasant, even if it makes no sense at the time, even if you’re afraid…ESPECIALLY if you are afraid.  It is the things we fear, that, confronted, teach us the most.  Open your heart to each other.  Remember that whatever distaste, displeasure, mistrust you may have about someone, that very person may have the same feelings about you.  How can you ever prove them wrong?  Open your heart. Commune.  Share.  Be together in Spirit.  Only then will we know each other.