It’s getting closer, and it’s getting harder to separate posts from my two blogs. But, today, I’m just feeling very scattered. There’s a lot going on, I have work, I have Spanish to learn, I have to finish packing and re-arranging, and I’ve been reading all these blogs about lesbians who are just DYING to get pregnant.
Man, I gotta tell you, I do not understand that. Well, back up. I plain do not understand the maternal instinct at all. I mean, if I had come out when I was much younger and been in partnership with a woman, and not having to worry about getting pregnant every time some man looked at me wrong, I would have been in heaven!
So, here are all these dykes, moaning and groaning about ovulation and temperature, and follicles, and hormones, etc. In an intellectual way, I feel for them, but viscerally, I want to scream….YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE!!!!!
“I want to be a mommy.” Oh, barf. The trouble is, being a mommy looks great when it’s a squirming, toothless little infant, or a bumbling grinning little toddler, or even an excited wide-eyed first grader. But just WAIT till that lil cutie starts running away from home, staying out all night, refusing to do any kind of school work, even though you know she’s brilliant, won’t talk to you, shoplifts, stays mad at you for years, and you have no idea why. Just wait. Just you wait, ‘enry ‘iggins. Wait till you try everything you know how to try, till you give every ounce of soul you have, and every dollar, too. It won’t be so much fun then, and all the trials and tribulations you went through to GET pregnant will seem like both a walk in the park and a total waste of time.
Sorry, potential mommies. I know you won’t read this, but I warn you…it will NOT turn out the way you hope.
Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy, and wanting to vent.