The Crankiness Continues…

Right now, the work server is down so I am waiting for word that I can reconnect and hopefully get some more work done before we leave to get G. up to the doctor’s so she can get her staples out. That is a good thing. I hope that I will be less of a flaming bitch than I have been the last few days. I am just not sure what is going on with me. I feel fine. I’m not depressed. I’m not stressed over Thanksgiving, in fact, it’s going to be so low-key it probably won’t even be noticed. I’ll be working, my daughter decided she’s just going to buy a pre-made meal from one of the grocery stores and they might do something with her new husband’s family, which I think is great.

I have to work, but then later, we might walk down the street to our neighbors who have kind of given us a standing invite at their home for any holiday celebration. They have 2 little granddaughters who love Peaches, which is how we met a few years ago.

Anyway. That’s all good. But it’s like I’ve got some kind of little thorn in my brain, and everything anyone says anything to me, it jabs my head a little more and I get ticked off.

Example: My 2nd late husband was a photographer, and had lot of antique cameras as a hobby, and also some really nice standard lenses. Recently, we have been wanting to upgrade our digital camera to a digital SLR, that is, I mentioned that I wanted to do that. So, now, G is kind of on a mission to find this camera and make sure the lenses swap out, etc. That is really, really sweet. But for some reason I cannot explain, it’s just ticking me off. Is that nuts, or what?

Then, she mentioned that we could try to put the old cameras on E-bay (something we have talked about before) and try to get rid of them. Again, it ticks me off and I don’t know why. It’s almost like, what I’m reading into her comments–and I FULLY admit that I’m doing this, it’s really NOTHING on her part–that, oh, we have this box of “stuff” in cabinet, we need to get rid of the “stuff”. Not because it belonged to a former husband, or anything like that, but just because it’s THERE and we’re not using it, so it must be gotten rid of. I just feel totally “contrary”, like whatever she says, I am going to take exception to for no reason at all.

I know this is a “phase” but right now it’s making me crazy. I get up in the mornings with the best of intentions NOT to let this go on, to work on keeping an open heart, and a charitable dispotion towards everyone, strangers and bad drivers included, and somehow, it all just shrivels up at the first sign of “misbehavior” from anyone. Or just because someone talked to me.

Maybe I really am becoming a hermit down here in the basement. I just do not know. If anyone has any insight in to this, planetary positions, whatever, please feel free to share it.

I’m almost afraid of taking the drive to Co. Springs today, but I will really work on keeping things on an even keel.


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2 thoughts on “The Crankiness Continues…

  1. Could it be a seasonal thing? Maybe now that the weather has gotten colder, it’s affecting your mood. Though I’m sure you’re right…it probably is just a phase and possibly some hormonal stuff as you mentioned in your previous post.

    I’ll bet you’ll be your happy, grumpy self again in no time!

    Happy Thanksgiving…maybe some time with friends is just what the doctor ordered.

  2. Thank you, Ms. EM, I always appreciate your comments. I don’t think it’s really the weather, as fall and winter are my favorite seasons. But something seems to have shifted, and I’m feeling better. Next post will be more upbeat, I promise!


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