Some Past History And What To Do About It

Three years ago in April, my then-3-year-old GS2 picked up a .22 pistol that my daughter’s ex-boyfriend (EBF) and his biological father, had left somewhere in their house, and shot my then 5-year-old GS1 through the upper left arm.

By what can only be called a true miracle, the bullet went straight through his little stick arm, missing bone, nerve and artery, and barely grazed his left ribs.  Today, if you look really hard at his upper left arm, he appears to have a smallpox vaccine scar.  No mark on the ribs at all.

This happened after a Saturday that was as normal as any Ozzie and Harriett episode.  GS1 played his last soccer game of the season in the morning, we took the boys to the zoo right after that and had a picnic lunch.  We brought them home around 3 p.m., where EBF was napping on the couch with the TV on and my daughter was playing with EBF’s youngest niece, as  EBF’s brother and his girlfriend lived next door.  We dropped off the boys in that scene of seemingly blissful family life and went home.  Apparently, about 20 minutes later all hell broke loose, and life as we all knew it changed forever.

We found out about all this around 5 pm when sis-in-law called us, screaming to come to the hospital because “GS2’s been SHOT!”  We flew the 7 blocks to the ER and I went in while G talked to the SIL.  GS1 was unconcious on a gurney.  If you ever want a reason for gun control, an unconcious bloody little boy is a very good one.

My daughter was in shock and could hardly speak.  Apparently, she had taken the trash out to the back alley, and was chatting with a neighbor when this happened.  EBF’s brother actually got to GS1 first and was cradling him on the ground, screaming for someone to call 911.  GS2, poor, poor little boy was freaking out (and still carries emotional scars–GS1 ended up unconscious, HE had to face the police, and having his shoes taken and his little hands bagged for “evidence”).

What did EBF and “dad” do?  He RAN.  Yes, the motherfucker ran.  Because he had some kind of outstanding warrent and he didn’t want to be arrested, he ran away, leaving his children in that state–bleeding in the dirt and screaming.   As far as I’m concerned, seeing his face again in eternity would be too soon.

I won’t go into the rest of the ensuing story, because 3 years later life is good, and all is well, so why do I even mention it?

Because yesterday I got a letter from EBF, from prison, where he rightly belongs–not for the above, but a combination of other things.  Oh, the letter is just dandy–he’s “seen the light”, it was “just what he needed”, etc.  Yeah, right.  He forgets (or doesn’t know) that I once had a husband in prison who wrote me the same letters.  Sure, it’s easy to “see the light” when a cadre of prison guards tells you when to get up, when to eat, when to get dressed, when to work, when to shit.  Living in the “real world” is hard.  Controlling your OWN actions is hard.  Keeping yourself off drugs is hard.  Being responsible is hard.  Maybe, MAYBE, if he gets out and maintains a perfect record for like, 100 years, maybe then he could glance my way for about 5 seconds.  Til then, keep your little “prison conversions” to yourself, thank you.

And of course he included letters to the boys.  What utter gall.  Like he cares about those kids.  He cares about himSELF, period.

I struggled and struggled about how to handle this.  There is a permanent restraining order against him for my daughter and both the boys, so actually trying to make “3rd party contact” via me is a violation of that order.  So, after mulling it over for a while, I have decided to go to my former attorney boss and see what he thinks I should do.  I would like to respond, if only to say, don’t you ever contact me again, but I think a letter on attorney letterhead sent via the warden would be more effective.  Then, it would go on HIS record that, even in prison, he is trying to violate the terms of the restraining order.  I think that would look good, don’t you?  Maybe put back on some of that time he might get off for “good behavior”, eh?

Yes,  I think that’s just the ticket.  It’s legal, it’s above board, and best of all, it may just screw him to the wall.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.



7 thoughts on “Some Past History And What To Do About It

  1. Holy shit! He RAN???

    I think contacting your attorney and responding through legal channels is the very best way to handle it.

    I hope you daughter learned something about gun safety. Please tell me that there are no loaded guns in her house.

    What unnecessary trauma for those boys, and really the whole family, to have to process. Thank god GS1 wasn’t hurt any worse.

    Hugs to all of you!

  2. OMG I am horrified right now.

    Just. Horrified.

    I agree. That’s what you should do. Maybe it will give them second thoughts about letting him out early for any reason.

    I used to get those jail letters from Tony’s father.

    Always started out with a “I hope this letter finds you well…” then the b.s. REALLY started to flow.

    Meanwhile the whole time I knew when he got out he’d be the exact same.

    I hate jail letters. If I never see another one it will be too soon.

  3. E–no guns in the house now. Son-in-law loves fishing, guns don’t seem to be a topic of conversation, thankfully. I believe my daughter will not allow a gun in the house ever again.

    T–“jail letters”, right. YOU know exactly what I mean.

    Hope to be able to see the lawyer this week..

  4. I like your plan. I don’t think that is revenge. I think EBF deserves it… he should be punished for what he did. He probably deserves more. Besides, why would you violate a restraining order to help him? Seems like the perfect excuse NOT to help him.

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