Low-down Dirty

At the moment, my company (which is located in Florida) is battling some kind of computer virus and I cannot log in to work.  I’m hoping I’ll get the hourly pay for this inconvenience since it’s not of my making, but if not, at least it’s giving me some time to blog.

I have to say my piece here.  One of the things I like about WordPress, that I really didn’t know about before I switched, is that when I go to my “dashboard” I can see a graph of how many hits I get on my blog each day.  I also realized that I can see the top searches that might have brought people to the blog.  For the longest time, the top search that brought people here was either “roasting tomatoes” or “meat loaf”.  I think that’s kind of funny, actually–look for a meat loaf recipe, find a lesbian granny.

Recently, however, I noticed a different kind of search.  Based on the topic, which I won’t state, I realized that someone was doing a search trying to come up with “incriminating” evidence on someone.  This is in reference to the ending of a relationship, and I want to say right now that this is a low-down, dirty practice and I hope it backfires on the searcher in spades.

I realize blogs and comments on blogs are public (unless the post or the blog itself has been made private by the owner), and yet I cannot express how deeply angry this manipulative behavior makes me.

Perhaps it’s because my first husband, who was an insanely jealous type, found the diaries I had kept since age 12 and used them to harass and manipulate, and threaten me to do whatever he wanted–up to and including getting pregnant with a baby I didn’t want.  He threw everything in those diaries up in my face, and I, stupid little innocent that I was, took it.  Never mind that every, single THING I had written was about things that had happened YEARS before we even met.  Crushes, hopes, wishes, etc.  He took every one of those memories and fashioned them expertly into tools of torture.  After my marriage to him was over, I hardly put a word on paper for a decade.

I got over it, because the very act of writing is freedom.  I will write what I please now.  I will write letters and blog posts and Facebook entries and comments.  I will say what I want to, to whom I want and to hell with anyone who tries the disgusting practice of emotional blackmail with my words again.  There is a special place in hell for those who do that, and this anonymous “searcher” in my opinion belongs there straightaway.

Shame on you.  Shame.



4 thoughts on “Low-down Dirty

  1. OMG! That is so true. People do searches and key words or phrases do attract them. Sometimes they are unwelcome readers. I for one am being watched by members of the church of Scientology. I can’t even tell you everything I suspect because I don’t want to give it away but, trust me when I tell you that I am being watched. I no longer blog about personal things like I use to because that is what is being looked for.

    I applaud your convictions! Good for you. And I agree about the later; shame on them. They must be very desperate.

  2. so right. I had a struggle with this too..though with me it was both things I said AND those I wrote.
    because of that, there was a time when I wanted to discontinue my blog. I didn’t-just deleted the relevant posts and left it at that. though that’s over, I am still a little more circumspect about writing personal stuff..despite the fact that my chap has made it very clear that what i write is my business and i should not worry about repercussions..
    once bitten and all that, i guess

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