First of all–new plug:  I am going to be having some posts at a new place, Our Big Gayborhood, aka “where the queers are”.  This is the brainchild of Lori Hahn, of “Hahn at Home” fame.  Go over and check us out when you have a moment, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Now, has it only been a couple of days since my last post?  It feels forever.  This place seems very distant to me at the moment.  I actually had a weekend this last couple of days; I wasn’t flexing time or trying to put in extra time or figuring out how to manage around an upcoming VA trip to Denver.  It’s been cold and snowy here (see previous pics), and we managed to get to the grocery store minutes before it really started coming down.  We hadn’t actually been grocery shopping–real grocery shopping with a list and all–in weeks.  Normally I enjoy grocery shopping but we went yesterday before the game, and it was crowded, and we are now shopping at our local grocery store rather than the WalM@art Super center that I know like the back of my hand, and G was with me, so instead of the zen shopping experience I normally have, I was totally annoyed and ticked off the entire time.  However, we now have a lot of food in the house, so that is a good thing.  Also, G is spending most of this week house/cat sitting for some friends, so I will have some alone time here, which is even better.  Sometimes I just need to be home alone.

On the other hand, I made the mistake of getting on the Wii Fit and nearly died when I saw my weight.  Truly, I am at the zenith of my poundage.  I made a vow to go no further and make a concerted effort to reverse this trend.  I actually started another blog pretty much devoted to rants about weight, size, etc. but I’m not ready to share it yet.  I think I’ve spent a lot of time in denial about these issues–not that they were issues, but that I was in any way bothered by them–so I think I’m going to have to really do some soul work around this weight/body image thing.  The up side is that I followed the recommended work out with very little trouble.  I’ve also decided to use the resources we have, namely FitTV, that has just about every kind of work out one could want for the price of DirectTV.  I have the bike set up on the trainer in the garage and I’ve been using that.  I’m up to about 25 mins at a pretty good clip.  Thank God for The Traveling Wilburys!!

The main thing I have to get a handle on is mindful eating.  Not just putting something in my mouth because there’s nothing else to do.  Which I do a lot, especially at night.  I have to say, even though sedentary, my job discourages me from snacking because it’s impossible to type and eat at the same time, so that’s a real positive.  The awful thing is that I just plain love to eat.  I think I have done enough work to realize that much of my “extra” eating isn’t really wrapped around emotional trauma or past stuff, it’s just 1) a habit, and 2) I love food.

For example, last night I was watching a movie.  G was at her appointed duties, and I had made dinner (spaghetti with home-made sauce from last year’s garden) and had one reasonable portion.  I wasn’t hungry.  However, I started to think about some of the things we had bought at the store and I just wanted to eat them.  I wanted to fix myself a plate full of snacks and chow down, regardless of what my body was saying (which was that I wasn’t hungry, having just eaten within the last 2 hours).  I resisted.  It wasn’t so difficult because I spent some time thinking about the reasons behind wanting to eat, which had little to do with hunger.  I ended up staying up late and then I DID get hungry, but instead of some kind of high-fat creamy or cruchy or salty thing, I had a few raw almonds and a couple of dates.  Dates are my saviours.  They are sweet and sticky and rich, so 1 or 2 does the trick when I want that dessert “mouth feel”.

We leave for Australia in less than 90 days.  I would like to be down about 15 pounds by then and have increased my fitness as well.  We plan to do a  lot of walking and I don’t want to be bringing up the rear huffing and puffing all the way.

So, now it’s public.  The word is out.  I am really going to put some effort into getting my eating under control and upping the calorie burning.  The good thing is that I know how to eat well and I like to cook that way.  Any tips, tricks, suggestions and encouragement are welcome!  I’ll probably never be skinny (nor want to) but I can surely be skinni-ER.

Off to Wii…



2 thoughts on “Doldrums

  1. I hear ya’. Mr. EM and I have both hit the weight we don’t ever want to be again and we’re finally doing something about it. I’ve always gone through fitness phases…losing some, maintaining it for a bit, then gaining some of it back. This time, with both of us working on it, it’s starting to “stick”. We got Wii Fit too and I’m loving it. Between Wii routines, Walk Away the Pounds and Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga (which I HIGHLY recommend if you like yoga), I’ve lost 10 lbs. since New Year’s Day. My goal was 12 lbs. by the end of February and it’s looking like I might exeed that. I’m totally like you in regards to the snacking…sometimes I just want to eat something. I’ve been trying to choose some kind of fruit when I get a craving late at night. Most nights it works, others…well, last night I had some ice cream. But we’re trying, and that’s a good thing. Good luck to you!

  2. Same situation with us. T got on the scale at the Dr’s office the other day and was shocked that she is still going up instead of down. BUT, she quit smoking in November and still needs some oral fixations. It would be better if they were carrots and celery instead of candy and suckers.

    I have started going to the gym 2 or 3 mornings a week. It feels great! Painfully great!

    The only other thing I would add is the trick of drinking a largish glass of water before meals. Fills you up a bit so that the smaller portion size feels right.

    Keep on it! You can do it!

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