After intense summer heat for the last week or so (think high 90s around 5 p.m. still–so hot you can feel it through the solid, west-facing front door), a mighty wind blew across the Front Range last night and today dawned cool, cloudy and quiet. The kind of day I love. Poor G was running around yanking blankets out of closets and I was kicking off the covers, letting the air all over me. I had to get up at 3 a.m. and take down the wind chimes on the front porch outside the bedroom, the wind was blowing that hard. Last night, G and I had another heart-to-heart, starting in the hot tub and ending in the bed, lolling around like being at a high-school sleepover. We talked about our perceptions of what seemed to be bothering the other one since we got back from Australia. I mean, nothing like this was going on before we left, yet the minute we got back–bam!–total irritation and grumpiness on both our parts.
G is feeling frustrated regarding her teeth, the process of which is taking a long, tedious time. Having lived through 5 years of braces, I feel her pain. She broke the temporary set on the side while we were gone and that makes it hard for her to eat a lot of things. One of the front caps won’t stay put. This makes her very self conscious and not feeling very attractive. I get it. I felt that way for a few years when I was going through my lovely perimenopausal happiness, which, thankfully has greatly subsided. So, when she said all that, a lot of tension fell away from both of us. We both knew that none of this was about us, together, our relationship, but sometimes when you are feeling so irritable it’s hard to figure exactly what is making you feel that way and you just blame who’s right in front of you.
But, between going right back to work within hours of getting back home, my daughter’s leaving her husband, her moving, worries about being day care providers, the dog incident, and G’s intense concern about the yard and garden that was left unattended, well, it’s been a big pile-on in less than a month. I mean, we’ve only been back 3 weeks and all that has happened! I just now even realized that–no wonder we are feeling a wee bit overwhelmed.
So, it was very nice to wake up to a quiet morning, even though I did sleep a little later than usual and didn’t do my yoga this morning. Work today was blessedly slow compared to yesterday; I actually had time to think, to catch up a bit. G did yeoman’s work in the garage, the cluttered state of which she said last night was a big irritation for her. She has a lot of tools and projects she wants to get done and a ton of space out there, yet entropy had set in and everything was drifting towards chaos. In her inimitable style, she whipped it into good shape today and it’s a great work space now. That made her really happy. Plus 1.
After I got off work, we took Peaches for a nice walk around the neighborhood, checking out what was growing, blooming, and who had moved in and who was moving. Plus 2.
Then, she headed out to do the night at her cat sitting gig, and I folded the laundry (AND put most of it away), baked a killer loaf of banana bread, did my yoga while it was baking and afterward made a big pot of red lentil dahl that I can eat on for the week. Plus 3, 4, 5, 6 AND 7!
I am noticing some small changes with my alteration of diet. First of all, I’m not itching as much. I have pretty much cut out most meat, most dairy except for yogurt (and half and half in my coffee) and a lot of bread. I’m not sneezing as much. On the other hand, the biggest part of pollen season is past, but there are still plenty of things blooming in the yard.
The biggest thing that I’ve managed to get under control is that I am not mindlessly eating at night. Since I got back, I have just felt less attached to food. Tonight, I even watched back-to-back episodes of “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” and didn’t even feel the urge to snack! In fact, all the crazy, rich food wasn’t even appealing. I think that’s a good thing. I don’t want to go all self righteous or anything, but this is a big step for me. I haven’t weighed myself since I got back, but I now FEEL as if I’ve lost some weight whereas before I didn’t. I’m not even missing the cheese and I never thought I’d give that up. I don’t even really want it–or a lot less will suffice. The other night, I made dinner and allowed myself a half cup of the 3 things that I had cooked and it was too much. Tonight, I use one-third of a cup of each and that was just right. Thinking of portions, thinking of how I feel as I get full, thinking of the quality of the food, it helps. And it feels good. I’m picking greens from the garden, strawberries, and more to come. We’ll be a little later this year and may need to make more trips to the farmers’ market when it opens, but that’s okay, too.
Today I felt like both G and I made good progress back to where we want to be. Last night, we also talked about how we’ve both gotten away from our spiritual practices which have been so helpful to both of us. Today, I had an e-mail from one of our co-participants in the vision quest we went on 3 years ago, wanting to do ceremony tomorrow for healing of what’s going on in the Gulf. Serendipity? I don’t think so. The ways to heal will always come if you allow it. I feel so blessed to be with someone who’s willing to talk, willing to listen and willing to allow the silence necessary to grow.
It feels good to feel better.