I think this list of 30 subjects was probably written by someone a lot younger than this granny. I think when you reach a certain age, you are more “into” forgiveness and not wasting all your energy on holding grudges, etc. I found out a long time ago that holding onto wounds and slights only makes them deeper for you and doesn’t affect the one who wounded you at all.
I got an e-mail from my sister last week, asking me to forgive her for “all the BS I stirred up” back when. I was kind of surprised to get it and maybe even more surprised to realize that I had already forgiven her. By that, I mean, yeah it was a dumb and hurtful thing for her to do, but so what? I can’t do anything about what comes out of anyone’s mouth or email but my own.
Still, forgiveness doesn’t mean that you put yourself back into a situation for something to happen again. For her, it’s a pattern of behavior. For me, it’s not being the target of that pattern. So, I wrote her back and told her that I had forgiven her which is true, but that I still felt that I needed to be kind of guarded around her regarding things like FB and email being shared with others and that sort of thing. Which is also true. She wrote back that she understood.
I can’t say “it’s all good” but at least now we both know where we stand. And that is a good thing.